Tuesday, April 01, 2014

April Fool and some notes on lying

The possibilties that exist between two people, or among a group of people, are a kind of alchemy.  They are the most interesting things in life.  The liar is someone who keeps losing sight of these possibilities. 
When relationships are determined by manipulation, by the need for control, they may possess a dreary, bickering kind of drama, but they cease to be interesting.  They are repititious; the shock of human possibilities has ceased to reverberate through them.
When someone tells me a piece of the truth which has been withheld from me, and which I needed in order to see my life more clearly, it may bring acute pain, but it can also flood me with a cold, sea-sharp wash of relief. Often such truth comes by accident, or from strangers.
It isn’t that to have an honorable relationship with you, I have to understand everything, or tell you everything at once, or that I can know, beforehand, everything I need to tell you.
It means that most of the time I am eager, longing for the posssibility of telling you. That these possibilities may seem frightening, but not destructive, to me.  That I feel strong enough to hear your tentative and groping words.  That we both know we are trying, all the time, to extend the possibilities of truth between us.
 The possibility of life between us.
Adrienne Rich, Women and Honor: Some Notes on Lying (1975).